There was no overhead lighting; the building was far too old for that. Just the gentle glow of lamps. Though sometimes eerie, in the snowy Buffalonian winter the yellow luminescence was actually rather hygge and welcoming. Everyone brought snacks to share; kimchi, fried plantains, mango sticky rice, jødekager, red olives, knafeh, oreos, chips, and Buffalo chicken dip. The shelf contained a panoply of colorful boxes, which in turn contained designer games and amusements sufficient to help anyone wait out several blizzards. One contingent grabbed the brightly colored box of Azul, and soon tiles evoking the porcelain azulejos that adorn the interiors of many Iberian structures began commandeering a common room table. Our newest neighbor looked across the shelf, eyes passing over the treasury of novel games only to reside on a homely deck of playing cards.
"Would you like to play Hokm?"
"Would you like to play Hokm?"
Buffalo, like many cities in the US, has been home to people with distinct cultures for most of its history. Buffalo is particularly famous for hosting the world's largest Dyngus Day festival, a commemoration celebrating Polish heritage around Easter time. However, the historic Broadway-Fillmore neighborhood that is the home of Dyngus Day festivities is no longer primarily Polish. The neighborhood is about half-Asian, mostly people with Vietnamese and Bangledeshi heritage, and a quarter is Black. Like many other Rust Belt Cities, Buffalo has attempted to stem its population lost in part by attempting to live up to its nickname as the "City of Good Neighbors" through welcoming refugee communities. These efforts were reflected in the 2020 census, which showed that Buffalo's population had grown for the first time since the 1950 census. Likewise, it showed that there was no longer a single ethnic majority in the city; all ethnic groups were minorities.
As more and more people with divergent lived experiences live closer together, how do we build common ground?
Hokm is a Persian card game, which is actually not dissimilar to the US game Spades. You can even play Hokm online, but it is not quite the same as playing the game in person. The game is played with four players, with the partners sitting opposite of each other and trying to work together to win the most tricks. I soon learned that a huge component of the game was communicating with the partner non-verbally. Our neighbor showed us a few gestures that looked innocuous enough, but apparently were widely understood to mean something. The secret was to get your partner to see the gesture, but not your opponents. Furthermore, in between every round the cards were not shuffled in the manner common in the US so that the new result is random, but collected in a pattern with semi-regular consistency, so that the distribution of the cards could be more easily intuited (or supposedly counted by skilled players, a feat no one playing could even approximate).
As more and more people with divergent lived experiences live closer together, how do we build common ground?
Hokm is a Persian card game, which is actually not dissimilar to the US game Spades. You can even play Hokm online, but it is not quite the same as playing the game in person. The game is played with four players, with the partners sitting opposite of each other and trying to work together to win the most tricks. I soon learned that a huge component of the game was communicating with the partner non-verbally. Our neighbor showed us a few gestures that looked innocuous enough, but apparently were widely understood to mean something. The secret was to get your partner to see the gesture, but not your opponents. Furthermore, in between every round the cards were not shuffled in the manner common in the US so that the new result is random, but collected in a pattern with semi-regular consistency, so that the distribution of the cards could be more easily intuited (or supposedly counted by skilled players, a feat no one playing could even approximate).
As more and more people with divergent lived experiences live closer together, how do we build common ground? Hokm is a Persian card game, which is actually not dissimilar to the US game Spades. You can even play Hokm online, but it is not quite the same as playing the game in person. The game is played with four players, with the partners sitting opposite of each other and trying to work together to win the most tricks. I soon learned that a huge component of the game was communicating with the partner non-verbally. Our neighbor showed us a few gestures that looked innocuous enough, but apparently were widely understood to mean something. The secret was to get your partner to see the gesture, but not your opponents. Furthermore, in between every round the cards were not shuffled in the manner common in the US so that the new result is random, but collected in a pattern with semi-regular consistency, so that the distribution of the cards could be more easily intuited (or supposedly counted by skilled players, a feat no one playing could even approximate). |
All our actions are built off of previous experiences. Being constantly surrounded by new environments can be overstimulating. Sometimes, even when changes have been positive, it can be helpful to tether to something familiar in the midst of change. Many people keep mementos, both physical and in memory, of places, things, or people that mean something to us. For some people, familiar games can be a comfort in a time of shifting sands.
For our game night attendees, Hokm was in a sweet spot of familiarity and novelty. For those of us used to US card games, the basic rules of the game itself were not overwhelming. However, the social component and the culture of card playing in general, was brand new to us and presented an exciting new challenge. While our newest neighbor was a relative recent arrival to the country, and even more so to our apartment building, they were the expert in this game. We even had fun as we tried to see how the game felt when using a more random shuffling method (it radically changed the type of game we were playing, so we decided to go back).
With many games, you need multiple choosing to agree on the rules in order to play a game. This means that play is built on a basis of cooperation (even if that collaboration is competing against each other). Having a well-defined expectations of behavior means there is an excuse for players to interact with each other to solve and negotiate difficult problems without having to fear what happens will have a permanent result. And at the amateur level, the consequences of winning or losing are generally not going to have lasting direct consequences either. This provides an opportunity for people to interact with others and begin developing relationships in a low-stakes environment.
Games will not erase years of discriminatory housing policy, nor will they stamp out all of the injustices in all the world. But sometimes learning to play a game can start a conversation. We already recognize that our tables are already enriched with food from around the world, and can be used to welcome someone in the community. Maybe it is time that we start looking at our game cabinets in the same way.
For our game night attendees, Hokm was in a sweet spot of familiarity and novelty. For those of us used to US card games, the basic rules of the game itself were not overwhelming. However, the social component and the culture of card playing in general, was brand new to us and presented an exciting new challenge. While our newest neighbor was a relative recent arrival to the country, and even more so to our apartment building, they were the expert in this game. We even had fun as we tried to see how the game felt when using a more random shuffling method (it radically changed the type of game we were playing, so we decided to go back).
With many games, you need multiple choosing to agree on the rules in order to play a game. This means that play is built on a basis of cooperation (even if that collaboration is competing against each other). Having a well-defined expectations of behavior means there is an excuse for players to interact with each other to solve and negotiate difficult problems without having to fear what happens will have a permanent result. And at the amateur level, the consequences of winning or losing are generally not going to have lasting direct consequences either. This provides an opportunity for people to interact with others and begin developing relationships in a low-stakes environment.
Games will not erase years of discriminatory housing policy, nor will they stamp out all of the injustices in all the world. But sometimes learning to play a game can start a conversation. We already recognize that our tables are already enriched with food from around the world, and can be used to welcome someone in the community. Maybe it is time that we start looking at our game cabinets in the same way.